Just some thoughts!!!

Hello there!!
Today I don't have any big news to announce or
a new kit to give you but I just have thoughts of heart!!!
Today it's my boy's first year birthday!

Looking back exactly that day I feel
that time has flown away so quickly!!!!
My feelings of joy today had been feelings of great
fear and worry just thinking of that day and the next that followed!!
I know that some of you and especially my friends knew that this pergnancy had been
a horrible experience and the labour was even worse!!!
And  in a few words just copying my doctor's words we could have both died that day!!
Thank God my doctor had been really great and managed to help us both!!
So I know now the feeling of people when they go and say THANK YOU!!!!
THANK YOU for saving my life and saving my baby's life too!!!
May be my mumbling sounds incoherent but it's my feelings
that talk right now not my brain!!!
And when giving birth to him we managed to save him, his early arrival in this
world showed us all the terrible implications this could have!!!
When the peadiatrician came and told me that he had difficulty breathing and he needed urgently
on incubator I froze!!!
From  the very first day, I realized I had been pregnant to John I had this terrible feeling!!!
I was anxious!!! And I wasn't a new mother as I have a daughter who is 4,5 years old and I never had this feeling with her!!
Anxiety was everywhere and I couldn't explain it!!! But the whole pregnancy
and its problems increased these feelings!!!
So, as you can understand all this introduction is my way of explaining why I feel this way
today!!!!
HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EXTREMELY HAPPY he had managed to overcome all the problems and
he has become such a beautiful and healthy little boy!!!
Tears of joy are running through my eyes as I look at him and I just SMILE
with every little sound he makes, with every little smile he throws at me,
when he holds me with his little arms
and shows how much he needs us and the only thing I can say to my GOD is
THANK YOU for helping my family get over this horrible experience!!!

So I need to say something more to all the mothers out there!!
I know that many of you have been where I have been or are going through even more difficult
situations!! JUST BELIEVE that EVERYTHING will be OK!
No matter how difficult that sounds!!!
Difficult situations are here to test our faith and strength!!!
I know I feel stronger now!!! I know I feel wiser!!!
But most of all I feel blessed for God has given me two little angels in my life
and for THAT I am GRATEFUL!!!!!!!!

And so I finish here my little story!!!
Thank you all for listening!!!!
Love you all!!
Lina